Wednesday, 5 August 2009

Our green/red future...

...with grateful thanks to the politically aware and ingenious Kaboom... "The climate change sceptics constantly scare-monger about the possible loss of jobs through the transition of a lower carbon economy," Kevin Rudd said. "But they constantly fail to talk about the new clean energy jobs of the future which will arise from the introduction of the Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme."
Behold! Kaboom's "Greenshaw"!
The concept is both simple and elegant...and the five-fold employment opportunities are as follows:-
When the petrol runs out because of Peak Oil, or because it has become so expensive that no-one besides environmental consultants can afford it, there will be millions of useless old "clunkers" (like the MINI Cooper S shown left) lying around rusting. Not only that, but there will be billions of people walking to work. The first employment opportunity will be for someone to cut these hulks of a past epoch in half, using carbon-friendly tools such as a hack-saw.
Next, someone will be employed to smooth off the rough hacksawed edges, fabricate by hand the steps, and ensure that the end product meets all necessary safety requirements.
Another person will be employed to remove the air-bags from the old clunkers, and insert these devices into the rear compartments used for the Greenshaw.
Another person will be employed to hand fabricate (using recycled materials, NOT wood) the carrying frame of the Greenshaw.
Finally, and most importantly, someone with the innate strength and green-savvy to pull the Greenshaw...As you can see, by using a bit of Green ingenuity, we can massively redeploy employment to cure major social problems of (1) unwanted cars, (2) people having to walk, and (3) unemployment.
...As we greenies like to say, "A win-win situation!"

...and from the comments, Anonymous adds...It would work. Definitely. Please consider options for mass public transport too. I have never driven, in fact I despise cars as sinful mobile hot beds of lust, so prefer to travel by bus. Preferably crowded, I like to feel the crush of people moving next to me. So, what do think of the chances of applying your principle to all the big old Bedford buses that my alternative lifestyle friends travel the country in ? One person on her own couldn't shift one of course, she'd need 20 or so helpers, but wouldn't it be something to travel to the cooperative lentil factory in a Bedford pulled by big fit, strong young ladies, all singing together ! A good song would be a speeded up version of Kumbaya, and in really hot weather they'd work up quite a bit of a sweat and lather. I'd want to stand up the front and...

...for George Carlin's superb take on Green values, SEE THIS...

3 comments:

MK said...

From what i've read these 'green' jobs are such a crock, they'll get rid of two normal jobs to create one green job. krudd is a liar and a phony, it's just a matter of time before he is exposed as such.

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