What's REALLY wrong with Winston...

There is a very simple explanation for the disparity between Mr Peters’ and Mr Glenn’s version of events. Mr Peters is the victim of an inter-galactic practical joke.

Elvis is not dead. His death was faked by aliens who held him captive for more than 30 years before returning him to Earth to impersonate New Zealand’s former foreign affairs and racing minister.

In this guise he has gone about offering honorary consulships to people he bumps into at international sporting events, soliciting funds from wealthy expatriate businessmen and plying wealthy locals with alcohol before hitting them up for donations.

Meanwhile, the real Mr Peters, who has stumped the country, telling supporters NZ First does not accept political donations from big business, has been made to look like a hypocrite and a charlatan because of the wayward activities of his malevolent doppelganger.

Editorial, Dom.Post 06.09.08