Brian: Senator Wong, thanks for joining us – and may I add how lovely you look tonight.
John: Why, thank you Brian.
Brian: You’ve been pretty quiet lately, Senator.
John: Plenty to be quiet about Brian.
Brian: Such as?
John: Climategate, Copenhagen, conflict of interest, Glaciergate. Blizzards in the northern hemisphere. Anything to do with Climate Change, actually. It’s all gone to custard.
Brian: So it’s been a tough few months, then?
John: Been a mongrel, Brian, yes. First Climategate made us all look like a bunch of crooks. Then Copenhagen made us look like a bunch of stupid crooks. And…
Brian: And ???
John: Subsequent events have confirmed the earlier conclusions Brian. The UN head of climate change turns out to be a railway engineer who’s now on the gravy train, and it seems our peer reviewed glacier data is obtained over the phone from a gentleman in the Punjab.
Brian: Who is…?
John: A certified idiot Brian. And as of late, a highly respected and very well credentialed traveler on the gravy train as well.
Brian: Where the wheels are looking wobbly to the point of parting from the vehicle?
John: Cheers for that Brian. Can we change the subject please?
Brian: OK. So, err, Senator, any plans for the future?
John: Not much.
Brian: How about the ETS legislation in February?
John: Not much point really, is there Brian? Blind Freddy can see it’s a crock of it. A total waste of taxpayer’s resources and government’s time. Government exists to maintain and expand the social and economic well-being of its population – not to legislate natural events. No responsible government would even contemplate such a thing.
Brian: Then what will you do instead?
John: After disbanding the Department for Climate Change?
Brian: Dismantle your own department?
John: Of course. It’s about as useful as tits on a bull right now Brian. Yep. Disband the department, resign from parliament and then I think I’ll renovate the en-suite and put in a home entertainment room.
Brian: (Gobsmacked) What!?
John: Home entertainment room Brian. A lot of houses have them these days.
Brian: (Spluttering) Resign?
John: Sorry, should have mentioned it earlier. The Labor Party will be resigning on Monday. We’ll probably be the first government in history to resign in protest at their own incompetence. Brian: (Still gobsmacked.) The Labor Party?
John: Only the feds Brian. Though I hear the New South Wales guys reckon it could be a good idea as well. Kevin might stick around to run a garage sale and hand over the keys. The best thing we can do for the country Brian.
Brian: You can’t be serious!
John: (Laughing) ‘Course not Brian. When do you want to start the interview?
The Prime Minister said today the reality was that Mr Abbott would be prime minister if two or three people in 100 changed their vote at the next election...more here..