Saturday, 30 August 2008

A Rolex...

...though ugly, will pay for itself in quim...

Rolexes are very ugly, strictly for moneyed yobs. To me a Rolex is the kind of thing Snoop Dogg buys for his rottweiler. If you admire Mr Dogg's aesthetic sense that is up to you, I have nothing to say; but why not go the whole hog and get some snakeskin shoes and a solid gold pig? Don King, Jennifer Lopez, Chris Evans*, Mike Tyson: these are the kind of people who wear Rolexes.

You can buy a watch from Tesco just as accurate as a Rolex: quartz vibrates the same however it is encased. It will look okay, and it will cost you ten pounds. The rest you can give to the poor or whatever.

But if you live in Asia I recommend as tasteless as a Rolex as the purse can buy, with as many diamonds as poss. It will pay for itself in quim several times over, conspicuous consumption being the hallmark of immature capitalism. The downside is that you will look like a boxing promoter.

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