Mummy! no more muesli !

Vehicle maintenance 101...

When the local community activist/neighbour/son in law goes on about peak oil, fuel economy and saving the planet tell the twat to stuff off...read this and get all the griff on everything you need to know about all of the above...

Polluter George W Bush Hiding Fresh Air Inside Your Car's Tyres

"We could save all the oil that they're talking about getting off drilling, if everybody was just inflating their tyres and -- and -- and getting regular tune-ups, you can actually save just as much." - President Barack Obama

Less than ten minutes after President Obama issued his holy fatwa about filling our tyres with air to bring down gas prices, I was already down at the local Jiffy Lube demanding to speak to the fascist in charge.

"I want answers," I demanded, furiously pounding my fist on the counter, "and I want them NOW!"

I keep telling you," the neo-con chickenhawk manager persisted. "They're those round rubber things on the bottom of your car!"

"And you fill them up with AIR?" I pressed him further.

"For the last time," he sighed, "YES."

This wasn't good. Despite his godlike intelligence, President Obama obviously didn't think this thing through. Every ounce of air we put into our tyres is one less ounce that humans - and more importantly, animals - have for breathing. It's air stolen directly from the lungs of Mother Earth and replaced with deadly exhaust fumes. It's a terrible crime against nature that has been going on right under our very noses for years. Apparently, the Jiffy Lube has been surreptitiously - and without my consent - filling my tyres with AIR every time I take the Prius in for a tune-up.

Well, I told Jiffy Jim in no uncertain terms to release the air imprisoned within my so-called "tyres" hereto and forthwith.

"But sir," he complained, intentionally neglecting to employ a gender-neutral pronoun, "if I deflate your tyres, you won't be able to drive your car out of here."

This is why uneducated conservatives will never be able to compete against enlightened progressives in a game of wits. He really thought he had me stumped, but I was one step ahead of him.

"So fill them back up again," I instructed him, "with greenhouse gases!"

It was brilliant! By freeing the air stashed within my tyres and replacing it with the greenhouse gases that were destroying the planet, I could essentially kill two of Bush's nasty little birds with one stone.

The manager, of course, couldn't grasp such a complex idea with his tiny, reptilian brain. He gave me that same look I get from conservatives whenever I bring up the Aids epidemic during a conversation about potato salad. But all cons are motivated by greed, so after I offered to pay him $100 to replace the air in my tyres with greenhouse gases, he finally agreed to the task. He even requested that I send my progressive friends and co-workers over to have the service done on their vehicles.

The down side is that you have to leave your car there overnight. It's worth it, though, to save the planet. I picked up my Prius this afternoon - and although it's a deep red color, it's the greenest car on the road.

Barack Obama's community organiser colleagues strike back...

According to Nobel and Pullitzer prize winner blogger Iowahawk, Sarah Palin is too dismissive and insensitive towards Obama and his community organiser colleagues, and belittles the vital job community organisers do in uh, organising their uh communities...a snapshot...

What do community organizers do? As you know, Americans today are struggling with problems. These problems include rising unemployment, energy cost, alienation, animosity, corporations, and increased death. Like no other time in our history, Americans are staring into an abyss of a hellhole of helplessness. And this is where community organizers like me come in and provide needed solutions. Specifically, America's community organizers:

* reach out and work with communities in various ways.
* liaison with, and for, community agencies for service within affected areas.
* fight to make a difference.
* raise awareness.
* deal with community issues.
* raise awareness in the community of how we are making differences about undealt-with issues .
* when necessary, refer inquiries to outreach coordinators.
* Help coordination agency administrators identify and address outreach opportunities.
* model timetables and conceptualize benchmarks.
* issue guidelines for poster contests and interpretive dance festivals.
* Gather voter registrations, win valuable prizes.

And that's just the beginning....

uh click here...

The ever smiling Moaning Greaser...

Looking north, towards Mt Maunganui from my deck...

I know, it's Photoshopped but so what ?

From Chase me Ladies...(the most brilliant site on the web)

KILLER FACT!
Japan is the world’s top country for being strangled in bed.

Per capita, New Zeleanders strangle and suffocate more people in bed than any other country. The average New Zealander is 150 times more likely to be accidentally strangled or suffocated (in bed) than the average Colombian.

...something to do with cot deaths perhaps ?

Note comments from this post...

Into the Wild...again

...further to the earlier post, I've just been listening to Eddie Vedder's Into the Wild soundtrack, preview it here ,and feel I've got to see this movie again, and must read the book.

I don't think I've ever heard or seen a more perfect marriage of mood and music than this combination...the movie is unforgettable, and Vedder's voice and lyrics seem to be a clear snapshot of the soul of the man they represent.

For a great overview see this article from The Mens Journal, and from Wikipedia...

On August 12, McCandless wrote what are assumed to be his final words in his journal: "Beautiful Blueberries." He tore the final page from Louis L'Amour's memoir, Education of a Wandering Man, which contains an excerpt from a Robinson Jeffers poem titled "Wise Men in Their Bad Hours":

Death's a fierce meadowlark: but to die having made
Something more equal to centuries
Than muscle and bone, is mostly to shed weakness.
The mountains are dead stone, the people
Admire or hate their stature, their insolent quietness,
The mountains are not softened or troubled
And a few dead men's thoughts have the same temper.

On the other side of the page, McCandless added, "I HAVE HAD A HAPPY LIFE AND THANK THE LORD. GOODBYE AND MAY GOD BLESS ALL!"

His body was found in his sleeping bag inside the bus, weighing an estimated sixty-seven pounds. He had been dead for more than two weeks. His official cause of death was starvation caused by consuming a poisonous plant that causes the stomach and digestive system to shut down.

Christopher J. McCandless... now forever young...
Born February 12, 1968
Southern California, USA
Died August 18, 1992 (aged 24)
Stampede Trail, Alaska, USA
Parents Walt and Billie McCandless

See the movie, see the movie...

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Economic Growth....

The Foundation for Economic Growth is a group of like-minded individuals who have decided to act rather than accept New Zealand's continuing poor economic performance. The Foundation is not affiliated with any political party.

Watch this site...it has rational comment re greenie lunacy, favours more referendums and is based around a simple precept, ie economic growth benefits all...

Wet,wet,wet. These days the Anglican church is SOAKING...

The very reverend, very constipated Chief PooBah the Archbishop of Canterbury has inherited the spiritual mantle of Leader of the Faith for the agonisingly PC brigade.

...It takes a Yank (the genius Iowahawk see blog list)to skewer the silly old bastard...

Heere Bigynneth the Tale of the Asse-Hatte.
An Archbishop of Canterbury Tale
With apologies to Geoffrey Chaucer


1 Whan in Februar, withe hise global warmynge
2 Midst unseasonabyl rain and stormynge
3 Gaia in hyr heat encourages
4 Englande folke to goon pilgrimages.
5 Frome everiches farme and shire
6 Frome London Towne and Lancanshire
7 The pilgryms toward Canterbury wended
8 Wyth fyve weke holiday leave extended
9 In hybryd Prius and Subaru
10 Off the Boughton Bypasse, east on M2.
11 Fouer and Twyntie theye came to seke
12 The Arche-Bishop, wyse and meke
13 Labouryte and hippye, Gaye and Greene
14 Anti-warre and libertyne
15 All sondry folke urbayne and progressyve
16 Vexed by Musselmans aggressyve.
17 Hie and thither to the Arche-Bishop's manse
18 The pilgryms ryde and fynde perchance
19 The hooly Bishop takynge tea
20 Whilste watching himselfe on BBC.
21 Heere was a hooly manne of peace
22 Withe bearyd of snow and wyld brows of fleece
23 Whilhom stoode athwart the Bush crusades
24 Withe peace march papier-mache paraydes.
25 Sayeth the pilgryms to Bishop Rowan,
26 "Father, we do not like howe thynges are goin'.
27 You know we are as Lefte as thee,
28 But of layte have beyn chaunced to see
29 From Edinburgh to London-towne
30 The Musslemans in burnoose gowne
31 Who beat theyr ownselfs with theyr knyves
32 Than goon home and beat theyr wyves
33 And slaye theyr daughtyrs in honour killlynge
34 Howe do we stoppe the bloode fromme spillynge?"
35 The Bishop sipped upon hys tea
36 And sayed, "an open mind must we
37 Keep, for know thee well the Mussel-man
38 Has hys own laws for hys own clan
39 So question not hys Muslim reason
40 And presaerve ye well social cohesion."
41 Sayth the libertine, "'tis well and goode
42 But sharia goes now where nae it should;
43 I liketh bigge buttes and I cannot lye,
44 You othere faelows can't denye,
45 But the council closed my wenching pub,
46 To please the Imams, aye thaere's the rub."
47 Sayeth the Bishop, strokynge his chin,
48 "To the Mosque-man, sexe is sinne
49 So as to staye in his goode-graces
50 Cover well thy wenches' faces
51 And abstain ye Chavs from ribaldry
52 Welcome him to our communitie."
53 "But Father Williams," sayed the Gaye-manne
54 "Though I am but a layman
55 The Mussleman youthes hath smyte me so
56 Whan on streets I saunter wyth my beau."
57 Sayed the Bishop in a curt replye
58 "I am as toolrant as anye oothere guy,
59 But if Mussleman law sayes no packynge fudge,
60 Really nowe, who are we to judge?"
61 Then bespake the Po-Mo artist,
62 "My last skulptyure was hailed as smartest
63 Bye sondry criticks at the Tate
64 Whom called it genius, brillyant, greate
65 A Jesus skulpted out of dunge
66 Earned four starres in the Guardian;
67 But now the same schtick withe Mo-ha-med
68 Has earned a bountye on my hed."
69 Sayed the Bishop, "that's quyte impressyve
70 To crafte a Jesus so transgressyve
71 But to do so with the Muslim Prophet
72 Doomed thy neck to lose whats off it.
73 Thou should have showen mor chivalrie
74 In committynge such a blasphemie."
75 And so it went, the pilgryms all
76 Complaynynge of the Muslim thrall;
77 To eaches same the Bishop lectured
78 About the cultur fabrick textured
79 With rainbow threyds from everie nation
80 With rainbow laws for all situations.
81 "But Father Rowan, we bathyr nae one
82 We onlye want to hav our funne!"
83 "But the Musselman is sure to see
84 Thy funne as Western hegemony.
85 'Tis not Cristian for Cristians to cause
86 The Moor to live by Cristendom's laws
87 Whan he has hise sovereyn culture
88 Crist bade us put ours in sepulture.
89 To be divyne we must first be diverse
90 So cheer thee well, thynges could be wors
91 Sharia is Englishe as tea and scones,
92 So everybody muste get stoned."
93 The pilgryms shuffled for the door
94 To face the rule of the Moor;
95 Poets, Professors, Starbucks workers
96 Donning turbans, veils and burqqas.
97 As they face theyr fynal curtan
98 Of Englande folk, one thynge is certan:
99 Dying by theyr own thousande cuts,
100 The Englande folk are folking nuts.

The ultimate tattoo...

...although make mine a jumbo elephant thanks... but be in awe of the sublime skill of the artist and his(?)labour of love...just don't try to tempt this little monkey with any fake bananas...

Russell Norman of the Greens was quite a hit...

...at the recent meeting of finance spokesmen. Jaws dropped with Mr Norman's impassioned and succinct explanation of socialism and its benefits...

SOCIALISM IS YOUR FRIEND

Look at it this way:

You go to the pie shop and realize that you only have enough money for one slice of pie. Then in walks Bill Gates who proceeds to buy all the pies and leaves you standing there completely pieless. Is that fair? Why does he get all the pies? Shouldn't he be made to share some of his pies instead of hoarding them all? Socialism says "YES, everyone is entitled to a piece of the pie! For now on, all pie shops will be under the control of The People, and The People will decide how to distribute the pies fairly and equitably."

Imagine a world where, instead of walking into a pie shop and hoping, PRAYING you have enough money for one itty bitty little piece of pie, you simply put your name on a waiting list for the privilege to go before a special committee, who will carefully determine how deserving you are of pie, and will then give you a slice of pie FOR FREE!!!!! Never again will anyone have to pay for pie, and never again will one man be able to hoard ALL the pie. No more will people compete to get more pie than their neighbour. Everyone will be entitled to exactly the same amount of pie, with the exception of the People on the Pie Committee, who will get extra pie because they wear party pins.

How do you get a party pin? Well, you have to join the Party, and that will cost you a fee of 100 pies. Then you have to be approved by the party leader person, probably me, and I don't like the shape of your fucking nose ! In fact, I think you're being greedy by coming around and asking for pie all the time when the People are starving in the streets. "I want pie! I want pie! ME ME ME ME ME!!!!" You are putting your needs above the needs of The People, and that just won't do. Your selfish attitude is harmful to The People, and you're the reason everyone is starving. It's because of YOU that there aren't enough pies to go around. The only way we're going to make this a perfect Socialist Utopia is if we put a stop to big-nosed, pie-stealing scum like you sabotaging the system! THE PEOPLE MUST BE CLEANSED OF YOUR DISEASE!!!! GET ON THE BOXCAR!!!! NOW!!!!

So the next time some right-wing extemist asks if you're a socialist, just smile and say, "I like pie".

A cuckolded husband takes revenge...

...http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq11YkGJ

"Climate Change"...a sham and a hoax...

Rodney Hide speaks out...

Speech to Parliament; Tuesday, September 2 2008

I think I will be the only person speaking in this debate who has any qualifications in environmental science.

It is not that that should count, but I think that it is significant for what I am about to say—that is, that the entire climate change - global warming hypothesis is a hoax, that the data and the hypothesis do not hold together, that Al Gore is a phoney and a fraud on this issue, and that the emissions trading scheme is a worldwide scam and swindle.

Enacting this legislation will cost New Zealanders dear—that is the point of it - and it will drive up the costs of basic goods and services for New Zealanders probably by at least $500 or $600 a year.

It will put businesses in New Zealand out of business, and put farmers off their farms. And it will do all this for no impact on world weather, for no environmental gain, and for no conceivable advantage to New Zealand or to the world.

Yes, it is bad that we are rushing this legislation through in the dying days of a teetering regime, propped up by a *Minister of Foreign Affairs who is under investigation for serious and complex fraud.

That is bad, but it is the impact that this legislation and this policy will have on New Zealanders that is so truly shocking. All we have in this is a computer model. That is notoriously difficult, because the answers are written in the assumptions. Let me give members just one example.

The problem for the first two Intergovernmental Panel of Climate Change reports was what was called the medieval warming period, where a thousand years ago the Earth was warmer than it is now.

Then, magically, an obscure physicist in the US came up with a new bit of analysis - the hockey stick - that showed world temperature to be flat and then rising dramatically as the world became industrialised. The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change grabbed this, put it on the front of its document, and repeated it five times.

Researchers all around the world were puzzled by this, because it did not fit any of their data. Eventually they got hold of that computer model and they discovered this: any numbers fed into that model would produce the hockey stick.

We could take the Wellington telephone directory, feed it into the model that the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change used in 2001, and we would get the hockey stick that saw the world running scared, that saw policy-makers running scared, and saw Al Gore make his movie based on it.

The science was rubbish, because a computer model is not science. Science is about theories, hypothesis, and the testing of these against the facts. That is not what has happened in the basic science here. That is bad enough, but what is worse is the policy rationale underpinning this legislation. The Minister would come before the select committee and talk about a "cap and trade" but, when asked, would say: "Yes, there is no cap." We are creating a market in hot air, without any quantified amount.

ENDS

The real catastrophe behind climate change...

...as reported in yesterday's Telegraph is the IPPC and the compliant media...

Check this redhot column by Christopher Booker...

Call me a fascist if you like...

You're a fascist bastard!

Hey helen...Is this NZ the way we want it?

"The best way to take control over a people and control them utterly is to take a little of their freedom at a time, to erode rights by a thousand tiny and almost imperceptible
reductions. In this way the people will not see those rights and freedoms being removed until past the point at which these changes cannot be reversed."
Adolf Hitler

Killer Fact...

...Australians slightly outnumber camels. There are 19,731,984 Australians, but only 19,074,168 camels.

If diplomacy broke down and there was -God forbid!- a war, my money would be on the camels. The Australians would have the advantage in guns and heavy armour, besides outnumbering the camels; but the camels could use their superior brain power to outflank their Aussie foe, and sow confusion in his ranks.

One thing’s for sure: there would be appalling loss of life.

Note that Snoop Doggy keeps his bitches on leads...

A Rolex...

...though ugly, will pay for itself in quim...

Rolexes are very ugly, strictly for moneyed yobs. To me a Rolex is the kind of thing Snoop Dogg buys for his rottweiler. If you admire Mr Dogg's aesthetic sense that is up to you, I have nothing to say; but why not go the whole hog and get some snakeskin shoes and a solid gold pig? Don King, Jennifer Lopez, Chris Evans*, Mike Tyson: these are the kind of people who wear Rolexes.

You can buy a watch from Tesco just as accurate as a Rolex: quartz vibrates the same however it is encased. It will look okay, and it will cost you ten pounds. The rest you can give to the poor or whatever.

But if you live in Asia I recommend as tasteless as a Rolex as the purse can buy, with as many diamonds as poss. It will pay for itself in quim several times over, conspicuous consumption being the hallmark of immature capitalism. The downside is that you will look like a boxing promoter.